Remembering My Mother on Her Birthday
Every year when September 24 arrives, my thoughts turn to my mother, Mary Jane (Reed) Gartner. This year, rather than simply remembering her birthday, I find myself thinking about something that has become increasingly meaningful to me: how much of the history I have spent years preserving grew out of the many conversations we shared and the memories she passed along to me.
Mary Jane (Reed) Gartner (1922–2019).
My mother was the daughter of Lewis Reed, founder of Reed Brothers Dodge, and she grew up surrounded by a family business that became part of Rockville history. Long before I understood how valuable her memories would become, she was my connection to an earlier generation of the Reed family. During countless afternoon visits, we would sit together and go through boxes and albums filled with old photographs. Many had no names, dates, or locations written on them. I would hold up a photograph and ask, “Who is this?” or “Where was this taken?”
More often than not, she knew.
A face that meant nothing to me would bring back a name. A house, automobile, storefront, or familiar stretch of road would trigger a story. Sometimes one photograph led to another memory, and before long I was hearing about people and places that otherwise might have disappeared from our family history.
At the time, I don’t think either of us realized just how important those afternoons would become.
Years later, as I began researching and writing the history of Reed Brothers Dodge and organizing my grandfather’s enormous photographic collection, I repeatedly returned to the information my mother had shared with me. Her memories helped put names to faces, places to photographs, and stories into context. They became part of the foundation for this blog, my books, and the historical exhibits that followed.
In many ways, she became one of my most important historical sources.
A special Christmas memory with my mother, Mary Jane (Reed) Gartner, in 2004.
But what I inherited from my mother went far beyond family history.
She taught me to approach life with determination and curiosity. One of her favorite sayings was, “Anything worth doing is worth doing well.” She also refused to accept the word “can’t”. If there was a problem, her instinct was to look for a way around it rather than a reason to give up.
That philosophy stayed with me throughout my life.
Perhaps that is also why she never allowed age to dictate what she could learn. At 90, she joined Facebook. She learned to Skype and text, used an iPhone and a Windows PC, and approached new technology with the same curiosity she brought to so many other things. Instead of saying something was too complicated or that she was too old to learn it, she simply learned it.
She was also my greatest supporter.
One memory I especially treasure is seeing her in the audience at Glenview Mansion in 2016 when I received the Arthur M. Wagman Award for Historic Preservation Communication from Peerless Rockville. I was being recognized for documenting and sharing Rockville history, but so much of that work had been made possible by the woman sitting in the audience.
When I saw the pride on her face, I knew the moment belonged to both of us.
My mother died on September 10, 2019, just two weeks before her 97th birthday. Yet in a very real sense, she remains present in the work I continue to do. Every time I identify another photograph, uncover another piece of family history, or share another story from the Reed Brothers Dodge archives, I am building upon something she helped preserve.
Historical preservation is often thought of in terms of photographs, documents, newspapers, and artifacts. But some of our most valuable history lives only in people’s memories. If we are fortunate enough to ask the questions while those people are still with us, their memories can become part of the permanent record.
I was fortunate.
I asked the questions.
And my mother told me the stories.
Today, on what would have been her 104th birthday, I remember my mom not only as Lewis Reed’s daughter or as part of the Reed Brothers Dodge story, but as my mother, my greatest supporter, and the person who helped me understand that preserving history often begins with simply sitting down, listening, and remembering.
Happy Heavenly Birthday, Mom.
The stories you shared with me are still being told.
Remembering My Mom on Mother’s Day
In honor of Mother’s Day, I would like to dedicate this blog to the memory of my mother who passed away on September 10, 2019. Her father, Lewis Reed, was the founder of Reed Brothers Dodge of Rockville – a family business that would be carried out for 97 years and three generations.
It’s hard for me not to reflect on what an amazing person she was. As with most people, I have a few people in my life who really inspire me, and my mom is one of them. Her absence is part of my daily life now. At some point every day, I think I should call her and have to remind myself I can no longer do this. But I can keep her memory alive by sharing a few recent stories about her.
Apple Cider Time!
In the autumn months, a weekly visit with mom to Lewis Orchard Farm Market in Dickerson, Maryland for some apples and cider was a weekly ritual. Then over to Bassett’s in Poolesville for dinner. She was always happy to get out and enjoy the beautiful fall days and the sights outside.
Did Someone Say “Happy Hour?”
We celebrated mom’s 93rd birthday at Bassett’s Fine Food & Spirits in Poolesville, one of her favorite restaurants.
Rosemary Pasek and mom enjoying a happy 93rd birthday toast
Celebrating mom’s 94th birthday at Arties in Fairfax. Baby back ribs and cheesecake dessert for the birthday girl!
The Saturday Lunch Bunch
Saturday lunches were something that my mom and her friends at Asbury Methodist Village always looked forward to. They had a lot of fun taking turns choosing which restaurant they would go to each Saturday. I always tried to have an annual summer cookout for them down at my place. Simple pleasures mean so much more these days, and grilling out was always a big hit.
Below, we are enjoying a cookout on my back porch with mom and three of her friends. Burgers, beer brats, baked beans, potato salad, marinated asparagus, and homemade key lime pie were on the menu. Three of them in their 90s, doing with gusto whatever it is that gives them joy. I miss these small, but very meaningful times. Hard to believe that this was only 8 years ago.
Left to Right: Jane Sween, Mary Jane Gartner, Polly Conners and Rosemary Pasek.
“What’s Your Excuse?”
The photo gallery below could be titled, “what’s your excuse?” This is my mom at 94 years of age going through her exercise routine at the Asbury Village Wellness Center. Great job mom!
My #1 Fan
My mom has always been my #1 fan. I was so very proud to have had her in the audience on November 18, 2016 when I was recognized with the Arthur M. Wagman Award for Historic Preservation Communication by Peerless Rockville for my blog and book documenting the history of Reed Brothers Dodge. The ceremony was held at Glenview Mansion, one of Rockville’s most beautiful historic properties. It was a tremendous honor for me to receive this award, but more importantly, share this special occasion with my mother. I saw my mom in the audience. I saw her smile and I felt her joy.
Never Too Late to Learn Something New
My mom has always been an active person and had the heart and mind of someone 20 years younger. She was 90 years old when she joined Facebook! She was not only a Facebook friend, but a Skyper, a Texter and could navigate an iPhone and Windows 8! I could have not possibly been more proud of her.
Recalling a Wonderful Life
I have been fortunate to have spent the last 10+ years experiencing the best friendship ever with my mother. One of my greatest joys was looking through all of my grandfather’s photographs along with my mother. On many afternoon visits with her, we went through hundreds of photographs and wrote down names, dates, and locations to the best of her recollection. We were able to relive the highlights of her life together; it was a very special time. This weekly activity, working together with her sharing memories and photos about previous generations, has been one of the greatest joys of my adult life.
Watching my mom’s eyes light up when I gave her the first proof book of her father’s entire photograph collection — 350 pages and 2500+ photographs — was a beautiful thing to see. True magic happened when she opened that book and started looking through the pictures. The book was a monumental task, and almost 10 years in the making, but it had a monumental reward at the end. Bringing out all those cherished memories for my mother was truly a celebration of her life.
Near the end of her life, I came to understand what a strong person my mother was. My mother had grit, warmth, a positive outlook on life, and an independent streak that served her well during the last years of her life.
Grateful for Beautiful Memories
When it comes right down to it, all we have are memories. You don’t have to travel or go far away to make memories; it can be as simple as a trip to the orchard or a Saturday afternoon brunch. I miss my mother, but I am forever grateful for the beautiful memories she left me. I find it helps to take the perspective that I didn’t really lose her. I know exactly where she is and where she’ll always be. She is alive in my memories and the link to all the history I share on this blog.
Mom, this is for you… Happy Heavenly Mother’s Day!
Remembering My Mother on the First Anniversary of Her Passing
Today is a very special post in remembrance of my mother, Mary Jane (Reed) Gartner, who passed away one year ago on September 10, 2019. Her father, Lewis Reed, was the founder of Reed Brothers Dodge of Rockville – a family business that would be carried out for 97 years and three generations. It’s hard for me not to reflect on what an amazing person she was. As with most people, I have a few people in my life who really inspire me, and my mom is one of them.
In some ways, it seems like more than a year has passed since she passed. Her absence is part of my daily life now. At some point every day, I think I should call her and have to remind myself I can no longer do this. But I can keep her memory alive by sharing a few recent stories about her.
Apple Cider Time!
In the autumn months, a weekly visit with mom to Lewis Orchard Farm Market in Dickerson, Maryland for some apples and cider was a weekly ritual. Then over to Bassett’s in Poolesville for dinner. She was always happy to get out and enjoy the beautiful fall days and the sights outside.
Did Someone Say “Happy Hour?”
We celebrated mom’s 93rd birthday at Bassett’s Fine Food & Spirits in Poolesville, one of her favorite restaurants.
Rosemary Pasek and mom enjoying a happy 93rd birthday toast
Celebrating mom’s 94th birthday at Arties in Fairfax. Baby back ribs and cheesecake dessert for the birthday girl!
The Saturday Lunch Bunch
Saturday lunches were something that my mom and her friends at Asbury Methodist Village always looked forward to. They had a lot of fun taking turns choosing which restaurant they would go to each Saturday. I always tried to have an annual summer cookout for them down at my place. Simple pleasures mean so much more these days, and grilling out was always a big hit.
Below, we are enjoying a cookout on my back porch with mom and three of her friends. Burgers, beer brats, baked beans, potato salad, marinated asparagus, and homemade key lime pie were on the menu. Three of them in their 90s, doing with gusto whatever it is that gives them joy. I miss these small, but very meaningful times. Hard to believe that this was only 5 years ago.
Left to Right: Jane Sween, Mary Jane Gartner, Polly Conners and Rosemary Pasek.
“What’s Your Excuse?”
The photo gallery below could be titled, “what’s your excuse?” This is my mom at 94 years of age going through her exercise routine at the Asbury Village Wellness Center. Great job mom!
My #1 Fan
My mom has always been my #1 fan. I was so very proud to have had her in the audience on November 18, 2016 when I was recognized with the Arthur M. Wagman Award for Historic Preservation Communication by Peerless Rockville for my blog and book documenting the history of Reed Brothers Dodge. The ceremony was held at Glenview Mansion, one of Rockville’s most beautiful historic properties. It was a tremendous honor for me to receive this award, but more importantly, share this special occasion with my mother. I saw my mom in the audience. I saw her smile and I felt her joy.
Never Too Late to Learn Something New
My mom has always been an active person and had the heart and mind of someone 20 years younger. She was 90 years old when she joined Facebook! She was not only a Facebook friend, but a Skyper, a Texter and could navigate an iPhone and Windows 8! I could have not possibly been more proud of her.
Recalling a Wonderful Life
I have been fortunate to have spent the last 10+ years experiencing the best friendship ever with my mother. One of my greatest joys was looking through all of my grandfather’s photographs along with my mother. On many afternoon visits with her, we went through hundreds of photographs and wrote down names, dates, and locations to the best of her recollection. We were able to relive the highlights of her life together; it was a very special time. This weekly activity, working together with her sharing memories and photos about previous generations, has been one of the greatest joys of my adult life.
Watching my mom’s eyes light up when I gave her the first proof book of her father’s entire photograph collection — 350 pages and 2500+ photographs — was a beautiful thing to see. True magic happened when she opened that book and started looking through the pictures. The book was a monumental task, and almost 10 years in the making, but it had a monumental reward at the end. Bringing out all those cherished memories for my mother was truly a celebration of her life.
Near the end of her life, I came to understand what a strong person my mother was. My mother had grit, warmth, a positive outlook on life, and an independent streak that served her well during the last years of her life.
Grateful for Beautiful Memories
When it comes right down to it, all we have are memories. You don’t have to travel or go far away to make memories; it can be as simple as a trip to the orchard or a Saturday afternoon brunch. I miss my mother, but I am forever grateful for the beautiful memories she left me. I find it helps to take the perspective that I didn’t really lose her. I know exactly where she is and where she’ll always be. She is alive in my memories and the link to all the history I share on this blog.
A Tribute to My Mom on This Mother’s Day
Mary Jane (Reed) Gartner
In honor of Mother’s Day, I would like to dedicate this blog to the memory of my mother, Mary Jane (Reed) Gartner who passed away eight months ago on September 10, 2019. Her father was Lewis Reed, founder of Reed Brothers Dodge. It’s hard for me not to reflect on what an amazing person she was. As with most people, I have a few people in my life who really inspire me, and my mom is one of them.
One of the most important things that I ever adopted to help me in achieving my goals were those I learned from my mother. My mother taught me that I can do anything I set my mind to, and that anything worth doing, is worth doing well. With her as my inspiration, I have been able to fearlessly reinvent myself as my life and times have changed. I cannot express my gratitude for her in words, whose unconditional love has been my greatest strength. My mother has always motivated me to be successful, encouraged me in all of my pursuits, and instilled in me the belief that I can achieve whatever it is that I desire. Her motto is one that I still live by to this day, “There is no such thing as can’t.” Instead of giving myself reasons why I can’t, I always give myself reasons why I can.
I am an author of two self-published books: “Portrait of an Automobile Dealer, Third Edition” and “Lewis Reed Photograph Collection (1898-1960)”. My mother was my primary source for information in both books. There was little documentation that accompanied the photographs, leading me to research through mostly her accounts of where the photos might have been taken, or who was in them. She assisted me with family information, photographs, and photo identification. Throughout this, my mother’s stories have influenced my interest in local history in general, and my interest in the history of our family business in particular.
One of my greatest joys was looking through all of my grandfather’s photographs along with my mother. On many afternoon visits with her, we went through hundreds of photographs and wrote down names, dates, and locations to the best of her recollection. This weekly activity, working together with her sharing memories and photos about previous generations, has been one of the greatest joys of my adult life.
Watching my mom’s eyes light up when I gave her the first proof book of her father’s entire photograph collection — 350 pages and 2500+ photographs — was a beautiful thing to see. True magic happened when she opened that book and started looking through the pictures. The book was a monumental task, and almost 10 years in the making, but it had a monumental reward at the end. Bringing out all those cherished memories for my mom was truly a celebration of her life.
If your mother is still living, don’t forget to say “thank you” to her often, especially on Mother’s Day. And if she’s gone, thank God often for the memories you have, and the life and legacy she gave to you. I lost my mom eight months ago. And I still miss her every day. But I find it helps to take the perspective that I didn’t really lose her. I know exactly where she is and where she’ll always be. She is alive in my memories and the link to all of the history I share on this blog. Mom, this is for you… Happy Mother’s Day!
Tribute to My Mother
Me and my mom December 2014
Today is a very special post in honor of my mother, Mary Jane (Reed) Gartner. Today was also one of the hardest days of my life, when I answered my phone in the early hours of the morning to the news my mom had died. She was 96 years old. The nurse of Wilson Health Care Center at Asbury Methodist Village waited patiently as I tried to process the information. I was at a loss for words. Knowing I was about to devastate each member of my family with just three words — “Mom passed away” — was not a responsibility I wanted, but it was the one I had. With every number I dialed, my mom’s death became more real.
Losing the person who has literally been there for you your whole life is shocking. It’s heartbreaking. It’s life changing. But I find it helps to take the perspective that I didn’t really lose her. I know exactly where she is and where she’ll always be. She is alive in my memories and the link to all the history I share on this blog.
While it is hard to loose her, I know she is in a better place. She was never in pain and we all got to spend time with her before she went to sleep. Thanks mom, for the 69 years of love and support you have given me. May your soul rest in perfect peace.
I love you … your eldest.
Here is the link to her Obituary for friends and family who follow this blog: https://www.pumphreyfuneralhome.com/obituaries/Mary-Jane-Gartner?obId=7173479#/celebrationWall
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Reed Brothers Dodge History (1915-2012) by Jeanne Gartner is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.
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